Tommaso f wrote on 7th june:
"The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction has to make sense," a Hollywood ghost writer once wrote.

The Flemish professor Vermeersch once wrote (more or less): “The Christian God cannot exist because His teachings are totally contradictory; He does not make sense”.

Your mother exists in reality, that is for sure. (And so was mine)

Dans les yeux de ma mère,
Il y a toujours une lumière.

Lyrics by Arno.

As I mentioned in an earlier comment my mother turned 50 on June 9th. As it is common in my family to "decorate" the house of the one celebrating , she sneaked downstairs in her dressing gown in the early morning to check her lawn but found nothing. A few hours later during breakfast she told me that she was very relieved her friends and family spared her.

On Saturday she celebrated her birthday with 33 guests. Some problems occurred with the DJ who mistook himself for a musician, got thoroughly hammered and insulted many of the guests. At about midnight my brother (not exactly sober himself at that time) told my father: "Dad, I'm totally ready to punch him in the face. Just give me the thumbs up if you want me to." Some of my cousins declared that they would be very willing to help. My father, though tempted, decided to expel Johnny Cash in disguise from the premises. While some of the guests tried to cheer my mother up, my brother and my cousins got driven home to get their laptops and some speakers to procure some music. After that it was discofox and alcohol until dawn. My boyfriend and I left at about 1:30, though, not without a warning from my brother: "Aber es wird nicht rumgevögelt! Ich komm alle 15 Minuten vorbei und kontrollier' das! Die Kondome könnt ihr gleich abgeben." (No shagging! I'll drop by every 15min to check! You can hand over the condoms, right away.)

Back at home we found that my relatives must have been there a few hours earlier. There were cardbord boxes all over the lawn, a chain of cigarette packets on the door and a banner hanging from the carport ("Hier wohnt eine alte Schachtel. Herzlichen Glückwunsch, C.!"). Even though my mother had torn the latter down right after her return from the party, she seemed to be very pleased the following morning.

Juliane

Could you explain why your brother is opposed to you having sex with your boyfriend?
Would your brother be opposed to you having sex with me as well?

Arnon

My brother and father never really warmed up to my boyfriend because he 's quite incommunicative. They both had hoped I would get someone rough and jovial. I guess my brother wants to prevent any offspring.

If you like to drink a lot at family parties (especially with my brother and father, of course), dance with my mother and at least some of my aunts (discofox is compulsory) and bawl funny remarks from time to time my brother would be more than happy to give his consent for a relationship including intercourse. I don't know if he'd accept a Fickfreundschaft, though.

Juliane

Would you be interested in a "fickfreundschaft"?

Arnon

No.

Juliane

What's the difference between your relationship with your boyfriend and a "Fickfreundschaft"?

Arnon

The nature, distribution and intensity of feelings I bring into it. And the feelings I receive, the significance I have in the other's life. I have to admit that I really like to be the most important thing in someone's life even though it's more than exhausting from time to time. For both sides.

Which position do you like to have in people's lives?

Juliane

I'd like to be feared and admired, but for you I'll make an exception.

Arnon

How very generous of you, Mr. Grunberg. Am I free to choose my attitude towards you, then, or are you offering a menu of options?

To be feared and admired surely is pleasant for a while. But wouldn't you get tired of people getting all stiff with awe in your presence after a while?

Juliane

I'm very good at calming people down.

@Juliane B
Arnon, Our Uncle.

Is there a translation into German in progress at the moment or would I have to fight through it with my meagre knowledge of the Dutch language and a dictionary?

Juliane

My novel "Our Uncle" is being translated into German.

Arnon

Great. I'm looking forward to it.

Concerning your talent to calm people down, you are not, by the way, also talented in knocking people out? I would be in bad need of such a favour just now.