Arnon

What happened to your iBook?

Arnon

Why is it so confronting for you? Because you realize the happiness you've missed since you're not married? Won't you get bored with marriage after a month?

Have you seen the gathering of strange boats near the Marnixbrug on De Vecht ?

Bernard

No, not yet.

Jan Allemagne

No no, quite the opposite. I would say: read this entry carefully.

Oscar

Long story. Let me put it this way, the white laptop decided to stay home.
I contemplate buying a macbook air, but soon I'll have ten Apple computers in my apartment in New York. And as my friend Sander used to say: "It's a thin line between positive decadence and decadence."

Jan

Any sane person will be bored with marriage after one month.

If you believe there is a positive link between happiness and marriage, you may want to consider taking advice from Pjötr.

In your novels, columns etc I already noticed you are not so enthusiastic about marriage and living together. But somehow I was curious about the nature of the confronting apsects. Maybe since I heard somewhere (VPRO audio blog?) that you sometimes doubts about life choices, like living together, having children.
But it's clear now.
And batta, I agree with you.

I believe in marriage.

For someone else.

Batta

Any sane person could also get bored with unmarried life after a month.

If you are looking for a relationship to fight your boredom you might get very disappointed in life. You probably already are.

Arnon

I can also tell you that once you cross the 10 Mac frontier, a live-in system administrator will become inevitable.But unlike Batta's relationships, that will never lead to boredom. Nor happiness, I guess.

Embedded

I like the phrase of being embedded in married suburban life (the latter is a bit of a pleonasm). I occasionally enjoy thinking of myself as a participant observer in a marital organization.

Michel V

How come you think of yourself like that?

Jan

I find it invigorating to treat myself like an ongoing lab experiment.

Jan Allemagne

I'm not a crusader against marriage. Actually I believe that marriage can be a wonderful game. But not being married can be a wonderful game as well.
I do enjoy to watch the rituals of suburban life. I participate in these rituals as much as possible.

Sander

Is this a solicitation?

Michel

Can I speak to your wife? Could she start commenting here at her earliest convenience?

Why does the bed look like it's been slept in? Don't these people do the effort to clean it properly or have you already slept in it?

"these people" - it would almost seem being happy is a detestable thing. Personally, I think it's enviable. And like anything else, determination is key. It's simply what you put your mind to, nothing more, nothing less.

Sander

I agree that non-matrimonial relationships can also be quite boring. But there's something about the boredom of a marriage, that cannot be equated. I think it's the idea that it is meant to last until death, that makes it so depressing.

And as to relationships and life-satisfaction: I believe it was the host of this blog who advised to have a destructive love-affair in order to feel alive...

To Batta

Depression and boredom don't seem to be synonymous to me.

Have you definitly left our foregoing public conversation?

Arnon,
Does your participation in suburban rituals include operating pressure washers or leaf blowers?

Marc

Not yet.

Arnon

I can ask her, but I should warn you that in the seven years that I have been keeping a weblog, in which she also became a character about five years ago, she has never registered a comment. So your odds are slim, at best. I think she finds the public performance aspect of it somewhat unsavoury. She is more inclined to email. Would that also suit your needs?

Michel

Please ask her if she is willing to comment on this site on your last comments regarding marriage.

experiment

Regarding my husbands comments on marriage and his status as a participating observer in our organization, I would say: whatever works for him to make it more bearable and/or interesting. For me, his sometimes unattached status is a little price to pay. The only sad thing is that the more interesting obervations (if there are any) of this experiment can only be shared with me after divorce. And are then by definition more painful than interesting.