2010/02/09 New York
Cop
Un-American
Last night I did something truly un-American: I went to the movies. I couldn’t force myself to watch the Super Bowl. To be honest, I would rather enlist in the US Army than watch the Super Bowl.
The movie “North Face” (Nordwand) was excellent and afterwards my friend and I went to the Lower East Side to eat some dumplings.
After the Chinese restaurant forced us out we went to a nearby bar.
A bouncer at the door asked for our IDs.
I said to my friend: “I haven’t been ID’d in ages. I don’t have an ID on me.”
The bouncer went to a lady, I guess the owner of the bar. He said: “This guy doesn’t have an ID.”
The lady looked at me. She asked me: “Are you a cop?”
“No,” I said. “To the best of my knowledge I’m not a cop.”
My friend said: “He’s European.”
“Oh, my God,” the lady said. “That’s worse than a cop.”
14 comments
Well, in the end it were Europeans who made the first ascent of the Eiger North Face. Heinrich Harrer wrote a very readable book about it, "the white spider".
Better known is of course his "seven years in Tibet" , but his strangest book in my opinion is "the last 500, on his travels to the Andeman Islands with Leopold III.
reputation
You werent dressed like a european undercover flip-flop-cop, were you?
European
Are you European (to the best of your knowledge and with or without purple boots)?
Careca
Before leaving my apartment in Manhattan I always dress like a Californian undercover cop.
These times ask for desperate measures.
Joost
I was born in Europe, lived 23 years of my life in Europe, I still have a European passport – I have certain connections with Europe, I occasionally engage in sex with women from the continent of Europe.
To the best of my knowledge I consider myself European after seven PM.
But before 7 PM I’m an all-American boy.
(P.S. And I detest pasta with meatballs.)
These times
Arnon, 4 questions:
1)What is it about 'these times' that you feel they require desperate measures?
2)Why do you find dressing up like a Californian cop a desperate measure?
3)Is any of this tied to a sense of paranoia in either yourself or the people you expect to meet when leaving your appartment?
4)Can you describe what you wear when you have disguised yourself as a Californian undercover cop?
philip,
For what to wear while trying to pass as a californian undercover cop, just check the beasty boys video's at Youtube.
Arnon, does your outfit include the obligatory mustache?
Reckless
I am very aware of what the caricature Californian cops look like in the Beastie Boys videos, Pim. But I don't take it as read that he models his appearance on the characters in the video you mentioned. It would seem quite reckless to me. Arnon can be accused of many things, but I don't believe recklessness is one of them. What I don't know, is whether he has a secret love for caricatures and stereotypes. I wouldn't rule it out per se, so let's hope he will address some of the issues raised here soon.
Pim/Philip
For obvious reasons I cannot tell you how I look when I’m undercover. Take it from me that I have more than 20 moustaches in my cupboard.
As for desperate measures and strange times: all I can say is that sometimes research for a new novel can go a step too far. And then there is no way back.
Right now there are too many people in the NYC area who believe that I’m an undercover cop. Even many cops assume that I’m an undercover cop, although they seem not to know for whom I work.
Needless to say that I don’t know exactly for whom I work either, but I hope to figure this out in the near future.
Poisoned
You can't tell us what you look like when undercover, as it would blow your cover - fair enough. The mock identity of a Californian cop is for researching a new novel you say, well it seems fair to conclude that you work for your readers then. But ofcourse the novelist identity could be a cover for something a little more dangerous or morally less accepted. Going undercover by pretending to be an undercover cop could turn out to be an unnecessary complication though, unless the protagonist of the novel is an undercover cop. Whatever you do when undercover, I recommend you leave the purple boots at home. Otherwise the news caption 'Poisoned spy betrayed by purple boots' could be the last we hear from you.
Philip
I will take your advice to heart.
Hypnosis
In the early seventies I took part in a student manifestation in a park. Suddenly we found ourselves surrounded by cops. Nobody was allowed to leave without a severe ID control, not even the occasional elderly bystanders. I got outrageous because this multitude of students behaved like meek sheep. Out of the blue on the spot, I convinced myself that I was an undercover cop, so I took my bike and walked straight to the nearest surveying police squad. The men looked at me but I stared back, intensively thinking ‘I am an undercover agent on a secret mission’ and I continued walking.
Slowly they gave ground and let me go, unharmed, uncontrolled.
A few meters further I jumped on my bike and drove away like hell.
As my nerves calmed down I could not stop thinking to myself, ‘You bastard, you left your comrades alone, you are a coward.’
Bernard
Just what do you mean by "severe ID control"?
It's interesting what one can accomplish by sheer determination. I once passed myself off as my wife at the Amsterdam Public Library. No matter that the card that needed renewing indicated that I should be a "Mrs".
@Carlos
Yes you did too, remarkably indeed.
(Severe ID: they took notice of name and address, asked for the name of the school and they performed a quick body search. Later, all of the parents got a letter from the police informing their son or daughter was involved in subversive actions… A lot of the students were invited to police stations for further questioning. - Ah, those days of revolt, etcetera).
Yes, one can still get excited when thinking about this, nevertheless.

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