2007/09/26 New York
On Saturday I took the editor of my collection of letters “Because I Desire You” to San Domenico where I had wined and dined a few of my lady friends, a couple of male friends, a handful editors and other acquaintances.
For a while – I would say between early 2001 and late 2004 – I was known in San Domenico for ordering the tasting menu. Many a woman tasted San Domenico’s tasting menu and probably that’s one of the reasons they are still happy to see me there.
But things have changed.
Of course other people will be wined and dined in San Domenico, but I won’t insist on the tasting menu – I get tired early these days – and I’ll be honest to my partner at the table: “This meal is going to be a footnote in my life.”
Italian shoes & food
Italian food again! This is no longer a footnote!
But it's not quite a chapter either.
Do you have to wear a jacket while dining there? Why this picture with this post?
Yes, and funny enough, the lack of good food, can be one end of the book of our life.
You can enter San Domenico without a jacket. While looking for San Domenico on flickr I found this picture, somehow I thought it was appropriate. There is a link between suffering and the tasting menu. I would say. But please disagree. Do you miss entertaining guests at the hotel?
what exactly do you mean by footnote and how do you know it in advance ?
I´m referring to your comments from 2007/09/20:
And did the grandmother tell you why getting old is horrible?
The site says you have to wear a jacket, but I couldn't quite picture you in a jacket. But then again, if I try harder I can.
I do miss the excitement, yes.
Don't believe the site. Just don't wear shorts and/or a bikini.
You as a Trojan horse will be worth as least four footnotes. Shall I introduce you the editor of the collection of letters? This good man will turn you into a footnote even before it’s really necessary. And many of my former friends told me: “I’m happier as your footnote that I ever was before.”
Actually Johannes is working on a book called “Becoming Mr. Grunberg’s Footnote in Thirty Days – Lessons in Happiness and Self-improvement.” It can be preordered as of today.
Well now it’s getting really confusing. The definition of a Trojan horse it’s still not clear since you keep on changing it. I will be worth four footnotes while I still don’t really know what you mean by a footnote. And I will prematurely become a footnote. Are you angry with me? Cause I was really curious when I asked the question and not referring to myself whatsoever.
Think about it this way: a footnote for each foot--since horses have four feet.
Thank you Oscar.
By the way you are much better with feet than with orifices.
a while ago I became a double Trojan horse. It was approximately at the time the definition of it changed suddenly. That my friend will grant me 8 footnotes according to your logics.
Women deserve one more footnote than men.
I guess you think its dull to play it fair and I guess I should feel flattered you are never indifferent as far as I am concerned.
That was actually a working title.
Anyhow, it contains a lot of aerobicing exercises, eleven or twelve prayers, recipes (vegetarian), and the occasional poem.
Grunberg groupies who preorder can come and beat me up, to compensate for Arnon's two teeth.
Why "Paris"? I don't know.
Laura's grandmother is in very bad health. She turned blind about ten years ago and weighs less than a hundred pounds.
Don’t blame me for your identity problems. Just preorder the book “How to Become a Footnote in Thirty Days” – you’ll get discount, as a Trojan horse.
I am still waiting for an explenation of your advice. Did Arnon commend you to ignore me?
The quote comes from a play from Strindberg.
It was about a marriage.
You and Arnon often remind me of two married people fighting with each other.
When the two of you are indeed getting married, I'd be happy to be the priest (my real profession as you know).
If both parties say yes, we can arrange this very quickly, somewhere in November.
If both parties say yes, we could consider it a footnote in the lives of the readers of this blog.
Oh yes please! please! Ilanit and Arnon get married, how romantic! Can i be a ring bearer (or something of similar function if you were to have a Jewish wedding).
Strindberg is known for his misogyny.
Was match making ever mentioned when we discussed your job description?
Johannes, maybe you could read some Ibsen for a while instead of Strindberg, it may change your opinion on women? Now that you've quoted Strindnerg (who I'd never heard of) and Arnon explained he's a woman-hater (I had to look up that word misogyny), things regarding your reactions to women are starting to fall in place ;)
Arnon refused to marry me. More then once.
Shortly after he turned down my last proposal he started referring to me as a Trojan horse.
Now he want to turn me into a footnote in his life even before it is really necessary. I do not know when it is really necessary to become a footnote in someone’s life. I do not know what a footnote exactly means. I can only guess it’s probably worse then everything he named me so far, and the list is quite long.
Strindberg might be known for his misogyny. Grunberg seem to be revolted mainly by me.
Not true Ilanit! Not true! I intepret his words to you as 'doting' or 'teasing'.
Preorder my forthcoming book and you can come and beat me up to get your revenge for Arnon and all the women I wasn't sweet enough for.
Today I received the first preorder. That man is known for his Japanese torture techniques, so I hope I'll survive it.
It was a coincidence I saw a play by Strindberg. I was in Berlin for a few days and visited my favorite theatre. I don't know any work of Ibsen. What opinion does he have on women?
Strindberg is worth reading.
You gave me an STD, should I be grateful for that?
Is that what you expect me to be?
Thank you, love, for the STD. It was the best STD I had in years.
How is your sukkah darling? Did you give your sukkah a STD as well?
Your interpretation of the situation reminds me the time when my friends and I used to make jokes (after Jewish history class) about how deeply we felt we we’re God’s “chosen ones”.
I cannot believe you bring this ancient issue on and on this blog of all places.
I said I was sorry. I paid your medical bills and I fed you with home made chicken soup for 2 whole weeks. Can’t you find it in your heart to forgive me? Isn't this what love is all about?
And no, I don't have a Suka, it's too cold!
Saying I'm sorry
Hm, I'm ignorant again, what is an STD?
I recently saw an episode of The Nanny where the nanny's mother and her mother's sister were arguing. According to the nanny (who was providing subtitles to their fight which was initially about a substantial issue), by the time the two of them started bickering about the clothes they were wearing, it was the Jewish way of saying I'm sorry. So, am I right to conclude by analogy: chicken soup is I'm sorry and so is bickering about an STD (although perhaps an STD is a substantial issue?) If so, I think I'd like to join Dens into converting to Judaism.
There is something called a dictionary, STD is NOT an ancient Jewish ritual.
Ilanit and Mr. Arnon know each other in person. Sometimes I feel like I don't live in the same place as the people around me. I think you should forgive and forget an STD as well.
Where do you want to live?
Sexually Transmitted Disease. Oh my, confused again - Ilanit referred to ancient ritual and then the sukkah.
Please forgive me, I've been suffering from fever these past few days, and codeine is making me flaky (I think there's an addiction danger...).
Noa, please BE informed that the fact it was actually me was not 100% determined. So that you know.
Thank you. You are a very compassionate man indeed.!
Is your nickname for Ilanit by any chance related to a certain brand of contraceptives?
Well, I would not call it a nickname, but yes there is this brand of contraceptives called Trojan. http://www.trojancondoms.com/
Please tell Laura and her two grandmothers that I’m completely cured.
I really like this conversational thing you do with speaking for Laura etc. But for ones I wished Laura could comment. It seem to become a battle between the sexes and girls do stick together.
Back in 2006 Johannes invited me for pancakes, he opened the door in a black t-shirt, shortly after serving me the first pancake he gave me a knuckle sandwich, I lost two teeth, and he paid the doctor’s bill.
Back in 1991 you opened the door for me naked, you went by the name Lea, you sat on top of me, two weeks later I had a STD, and yes you paid the doctor’s bill.
I wish there were more people like Johannes and you.
This is all I have to say for now.
We are avoiding the real issue here. My question remained unanswered.
Why does Arnon Grunberg tells us we are as meaningful in his life as a footnote? How can a person (and a writer even more so) close himself to others so much and so far in advance? And why does he feel the need to express that? And don’t we all want to feel significant in the lives of others with whom we interact? Even if they are not writing books? Isn’t it a common human need?
Isn’t the fact that one chooses to become a writer, a storyteller if I may, emphasise to some extent the same need?
You completely misunderstand the importance of a footnote.
The real issue here seems to me that you would love to be important in my life. The fact I keep giving you attention should satisfy you. But apparently it’s never enough for you. You are insatiable. Now wonder you scatter STD’s as the Christmas Man scatters presents. Could you please calm down! You are not the only Trojan horse in town.
That’s very perceptive of you detective Sherlock. The fact I proposed three times (actually four if you broaden the definition of a proposal) was apparently not enough to emphasise my wish to be important in your life. You needed to read it between the lines of my objection to be a footnote. I am not insatiable but I can not move on as long as you hold a grudge. You forgave me all my sins on Yom Kippur, so let bygones be bygones for god sake and trust me again.
Get a room you two.
Oh, and I would want to live in a place where at least one person would back me up if I'm right, and at least one person I love who wouldn't.