2007/10/03 New York
Dating
I don't want to make you unhappy
Back in 1997 (or was it 1998?) – I had just signed up as a client at the Wylie Agency – the New York Times Magazine asked me to write a short essay on the differences between dating in Amsterdam and New York.
Not that I knew much about dating, but you can do research.
I wrote my article, it was translated fairly well, and then James Atlas, at that time editor of the New York Times Magazine, sent me the article back.
The ending was completely changed and almost thirty percent of the article had disappeared.
The last sentence was a sentence I had not written; and I didn’t plan to write such a sentence ever in my life.
I wrote James Atlas a fax in which I stated that all this made me very unhappy.
Shortly after he called me and he said: “I don’t want to make you unhappy.”
My original ending was reinstated and for the time being my relationship wih the New York Times Magazine ended.
I was reminded of all this, because my articles about my life as a chambermaid in Bavaria will be published by a magazine called Culture + Travel in the US. This time there were no attempts to change the ending. An innocent remark about the beginning, that’s about it.
I hate to admit it, but sometimes there is such a thing called progress.
30 comments
Arnon
Would you mind sharing Mr Atlas's last sentence with us?
Maybe your personal power is rising in NY.
Is it you who's progressing or your surroundings? I'd imagine it's hard to tell the difference. Perhaps, Arnon, you're becoming a NYorker. And so is your writing.
Oscar W
I believe it was something like: “Back then everything was so uncomplicated.” Or: “Back in Amsterdam everything was so uncomplicated.”
But as I said, I rely on my memory.
Noa
The most serious objective progress here is I would say, not having to use a fax machine.
May we conclude that dating in Amsterdam is less complicated than in NY? 'To date' is in itself and exclusivelt American phenomenon I believe. Dating is something serious without having to have had sex. I suppose in Holland things only start gettng serious if you go out for dinner with someone after having had sex.
Noa / Ilanit
I would argue that dating in New York has certain rules and laws whereas dating in Amsterdam was a rather lawless pastime; at least that’s how I remember it.
In general I would say that the New Yorker is more openly conscious about class and class warfare; of course in the Netherlands class and class warfare do exist, but it’s much more covert. One could even argue that acknowledging that there is such a thing as class and class warfare is a taboo in the Low Countries.
Ilanit, it’s obvious that you don’t have a clue about copy-editing, stick to things you know something about: 1. The IDF. 2. STD’s 3. Being a Trojan Horse 4. Being two Trojan Horses 5. Being a paranoid Jew. 6 Being a drama queen 7. Being obnoxious while attempting to be funny.
I’m looking forward to your comments on these issues.
Arnon
I have conceived the first sentence of our contribution to Modern Love:
"We met in a sentence."
Please let me know if this is to your liking.
Arnon
I wasn’t trying to be funny and I might have little experience with copy-editing but I have few years of experience in logical thinking.
I argue that the fact that your latest article not only went to a different magazine but was also viewed by a different editor makes these two cases difficult to compare let alone assume a coherent bigger relation like the one of progress. Your NYT article might have remained as unedited with cultue+travel ten years ago already and the NYT might do the same to your Bavarian article if you gave it to them today.
Since you stated that you hate admitting the fact there is such thing called progress, one could think my reasoning will make you happy since you don’t have to admit it quite yet.
So that’s the thank you I get? Calling me obnoxious?
Arnon
Two years ago I won a Christmas story contest. The editors changed an adjective., without letting me know. That made me very angry. Do you think there's a difference between changing some words in an article and changing a story?
Ilanit
I'm afraid you missed the fact that I used the word "progress" tongue-in-cheek.
Besides this you are absolutely right.
Oscar
Isn’t this a little bit abstract for the styles section of the NY Times?
Coen
I would say there is an obvious difference betwen changing a word and a story; it all depends on which word of course.
huh
Am I dreaming?
Somebody pinch me!
@Arnon and Oscar
Maybe " I have bought you a new plant. It 's leaves are turning yellow." is something to start with.
Arnon
I would like to get serious about art, Arnon.
Anna
How can you post these two comments in quick succession?
Arnon
Yes, you are right. In this case it didn't kill the story, but the fact that a redaction changes a word without my permission made me furious. But worse was that they typed by accident an 'f' somewhere.
On the other hand, I slept well that night. There are worse things.
I'm sure you could write a book about incidents like this. But please don't do that...
Oscar Wild
Let's not argue Oscar. I am reading the picture of Dorian Gray. Dorian Gray and the plant . Both have nothing to do with my art and Arnon wanting to extend his body into art i guess.
ilanit
how to pinch over the internet?
Anna
Thank you for rereading "The picture of Dorian Gray".
Oscar W
I hope I didn't offend you with my honest opinion about your first sentence.
Changes
@Coen
I have read your story, I found it on the internet.
I do not think it is fair to change even a word without the permission of the author. Do they sometimes changes the cartoons too? I do not think so.
@ Jan
Maybe they consider a story as a cartoon with too many words. You never know.
Did you like the story by the way?
@Coen
Although I am spoiled, I was satisfied with the story and the way you wrote it, you should continue. You observe well, I remember.
Hanne
Physically pinching through the internet is ( as far as I am informed) impossible. You can however pinch metaphorically. Metaphorically pinching is all which generates the same result as the physical pinching.
Arnon
I'm not easily offended. I believe that my sentence could work, given the right context.
Oscar
The details through which this love could be categorised as MODERN love are still not clear. Conceiving a first sentence is jumping to phase two without completing phase one.
Ilanit
What you suggest I consider Old-fashioned Writing.