2007/10/03 New York
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Dating

I don't want to make you unhappy

Back in 1997 (or was it 1998?) – I had just signed up as a client at the Wylie Agency – the New York Times Magazine asked me to write a short essay on the differences between dating in Amsterdam and New York.
Not that I knew much about dating, but you can do research.
I wrote my article, it was translated fairly well, and then James Atlas, at that time editor of the New York Times Magazine, sent me the article back.
The ending was completely changed and almost thirty percent of the article had disappeared.
The last sentence was a sentence I had not written; and I didn’t plan to write such a sentence ever in my life.
I wrote James Atlas a fax in which I stated that all this made me very unhappy.
Shortly after he called me and he said: “I don’t want to make you unhappy.” My original ending was reinstated and for the time being my relationship wih the New York Times Magazine ended.
I was reminded of all this, because my articles about my life as a chambermaid in Bavaria will be published by a magazine called Culture + Travel in the US. This time there were no attempts to change the ending. An innocent remark about the beginning, that’s about it.
I hate to admit it, but sometimes there is such a thing called progress.


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30 comments Last_comment
Arnon
Would you mind sharing Mr Atlas's last sentence with us?
said Oscar Wilde 03/10/2007 06:51 • x
Maybe your personal power is rising in NY.
said Jan Thys 03/10/2007 09:40 • x
Is it you who's progressing or your surroundings? I'd imagine it's hard to tell the difference. Perhaps, Arnon, you're becoming a NYorker. And so is your writing.
said noa fenenga 03/10/2007 11:45 • x
Oscar W
I believe it was something like: “Back then everything was so uncomplicated.” Or: “Back in Amsterdam everything was so uncomplicated.”
But as I said, I rely on my memory.
said Arnon Grunberg 03/10/2007 17:08 • x
Noa
The most serious objective progress here is I would say, not having to use a fax machine.
said Ilanit 03/10/2007 18:48 • x
May we conclude that dating in Amsterdam is less complicated than in NY? 'To date' is in itself and exclusivelt American phenomenon I believe. Dating is something serious without having to have had sex. I suppose in Holland things only start gettng serious if you go out for dinner with someone after having had sex.
said noa fenenga 03/10/2007 19:34 • x
Grunberg signed book
@all, buy this book. This time no lies . Grunberg signed this for me to sell it. I don't like that Grunberg says this about queen Beatrix - I can't imagine she is a little whore - but if it sells good,why not.
Stop commenting, start bidding.
http://boeken.marktplaats.nl/literatuur/119846103-grunberg-tirza-opdracht-en-gesigneerd.html
said Giovanni Schwarz 03/10/2007 20:55 • x
Noa / Ilanit
I would argue that dating in New York has certain rules and laws whereas dating in Amsterdam was a rather lawless pastime; at least that’s how I remember it.
In general I would say that the New Yorker is more openly conscious about class and class warfare; of course in the Netherlands class and class warfare do exist, but it’s much more covert. One could even argue that acknowledging that there is such a thing as class and class warfare is a taboo in the Low Countries.
Ilanit, it’s obvious that you don’t have a clue about copy-editing, stick to things you know something about: 1. The IDF. 2. STD’s 3. Being a Trojan Horse 4. Being two Trojan Horses 5. Being a paranoid Jew. 6 Being a drama queen 7. Being obnoxious while attempting to be funny.
I’m looking forward to your comments on these issues.
said Arnon Grunberg 03/10/2007 23:48 • x
Arnon
I have conceived the first sentence of our contribution to Modern Love:

"We met in a sentence."

Please let me know if this is to your liking.
said Oscar Wilde 04/10/2007 05:27 • x
Arnon
I wasn’t trying to be funny and I might have little experience with copy-editing but I have few years of experience in logical thinking.
I argue that the fact that your latest article not only went to a different magazine but was also viewed by a different editor makes these two cases difficult to compare let alone assume a coherent bigger relation like the one of progress. Your NYT article might have remained as unedited with cultue+travel ten years ago already and the NYT might do the same to your Bavarian article if you gave it to them today.
Since you stated that you hate admitting the fact there is such thing called progress, one could think my reasoning will make you happy since you don’t have to admit it quite yet.
So that’s the thank you I get? Calling me obnoxious?
said Ilanit 04/10/2007 10:59 • x
Arnon
Two years ago I won a Christmas story contest. The editors changed an adjective., without letting me know. That made me very angry. Do you think there's a difference between changing some words in an article and changing a story?
said Coen van Beelen 04/10/2007 17:23 • x
Ilanit
I'm afraid you missed the fact that I used the word "progress" tongue-in-cheek.
Besides this you are absolutely right.
said Arnon Grunberg 04/10/2007 17:32 • x
Oscar
Isn’t this a little bit abstract for the styles section of the NY Times?
said Arnon Grunberg 04/10/2007 17:35 • x
Coen
I would say there is an obvious difference betwen changing a word and a story; it all depends on which word of course.
said Arnon Grunberg 04/10/2007 17:55 • x
huh
Am I dreaming?
Somebody pinch me!
said Ilanit 04/10/2007 18:52 • x
@Arnon and Oscar
Maybe " I have bought you a new plant. It 's leaves are turning yellow." is something to start with.
said anna schumlanski 04/10/2007 23:07 • x
Arnon
I would like to get serious about art, Arnon.
said anna schumlanski 04/10/2007 23:08 • x
Anna
How can you post these two comments in quick succession?
said Oscar Wilde 04/10/2007 23:42 • x
Arnon
Yes, you are right. In this case it didn't kill the story, but the fact that a redaction changes a word without my permission made me furious. But worse was that they typed by accident an 'f' somewhere.
On the other hand, I slept well that night. There are worse things.
I'm sure you could write a book about incidents like this. But please don't do that...
said Coen van Beelen 05/10/2007 00:08 • x
Oscar Wild
Let's not argue Oscar. I am reading the picture of Dorian Gray. Dorian Gray and the plant . Both have nothing to do with my art and Arnon wanting to extend his body into art i guess.
said anna schumlanski 05/10/2007 00:54 • x
ilanit
how to pinch over the internet?
said hanne v 05/10/2007 00:55 • x
Anna
Thank you for rereading "The picture of Dorian Gray".
said Oscar Wilde 05/10/2007 02:00 • x
Oscar W
I hope I didn't offend you with my honest opinion about your first sentence.
said Arnon Grunberg 05/10/2007 05:51 • x
Changes
@Coen
I have read your story, I found it on the internet.
I do not think it is fair to change even a word without the permission of the author. Do they sometimes changes the cartoons too? I do not think so.
said Jan Thys 05/10/2007 08:29 • x
@ Jan
Maybe they consider a story as a cartoon with too many words. You never know.
Did you like the story by the way?
said Coen van Beelen 05/10/2007 10:59 • x
@Coen
Although I am spoiled, I was satisfied with the story and the way you wrote it, you should continue. You observe well, I remember.
said Jan Thys 05/10/2007 12:38 • x
Hanne
Physically pinching through the internet is ( as far as I am informed) impossible. You can however pinch metaphorically. Metaphorically pinching is all which generates the same result as the physical pinching.
said Ilanit 05/10/2007 14:45 • x
Arnon
I'm not easily offended. I believe that my sentence could work, given the right context.
said Oscar Wilde 05/10/2007 16:51 • x
Oscar
The details through which this love could be categorised as MODERN love are still not clear. Conceiving a first sentence is jumping to phase two without completing phase one.
said Ilanit 05/10/2007 17:02 • x
Ilanit
What you suggest I consider Old-fashioned Writing.
said Oscar Wilde 05/10/2007 17:54 • x
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