Arnon

Is your godson with you in Fort Lauderdale?

AG

Happy *with* the results, Arnon, *with*.
And you lived in New York for how long?

Do you think you can be entrusted with further developing our Dutch language, Arnon? Can you make any warranties or representations as to how your lack of linguistic flair will not cause any further harm?

RHCdG

You naughty boy, you forgot to take your pills.
Once again my question:
Since you publish your father's work on the internet, what do you admire in his work?
Last time I forgot to tell you that you must have your father's charm.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8x_NoxhjA8w
That' why I'd like to advise you. If you want to show your opinion of Arnon Grunberg's writings more effectively, make a video of you burning his books in the fireplace while you are reading an essay. Then put it on youtube.

@ Rutger

Polemic writing is an art. Many are called, only few are chosen. Keep practising, may be one day a glimpse of Arnon's genius will be bestowed on you.

My first haircut, ‘à la brosse’, I only remember, it hurt a lot. But then it did not happen in an upscale beauty parlour, I am afraid. The man was more or less a butcher with a steel brush, a sharp scissor and a long cut throat razor blade. I felt like a chicken ready for slaughter.
By the way, I am reading ‘Waiting for the Barbarians’ by Coetzee now. I am afraid I will have to call that book a masterwork.

Or maybe I should call that book a masterpiece (for the schoolteachers amongst us).

AG

Another thing, I believe you really should instruct your guardians better. They insist on the same themes over and over. One of them is obsessed with a carrot; the other goes on about pills, and makes inquires about my father. What does that tell you? Oh, yes, and there is this woman who wants to have sex with you. She seems to read a lot, so I wouldn't expect too much of it.

RHCdG

Please stop crying.
But fair enough, what are your plans for Christmas?

RHCdG

PS You misunderstood something. I am your guardian on this site, Arnon Grunberg doesn't need one.

Jan Thys

Do not be afraid to call something a masterwork, though the expression is 'MASTERPIECE'. What can on expect from Coetzee. Narly every book can be qualified as a masterpiece !
For many years I walked around with a haircut à la brosse.
In the sixties the expression 'beebop' or 'kort amerikaans' was in vogue
For me: seeing all those gleaming scissors and combs and brushes (nothing was made out of wood o plastic) meant a painful threat, but only in my imagination.

Rutger

Those naughty prepositions.

Margot

The answer is yes.

Literair trainingskamp

Beste Arnon,

lees vandaag in de Volkskrant de eerste resultaten van het 'literaire trainingskamp' voor militairen die in Uruzgan dienen/hebben gediend, en jouw eigen inleiding daarbij. Dijk van een artikel. Meer dan de moeite waard op in het Engels te vertalen!

De volgende passage trof mij in het bijzonder:

"Zoals de aristocratie zich op het standpunt stelde dat werken iets was wat de beesten deden, zo meende de Nederlander dat oorlog voeren iets was wat aan anderen kon worden overgelaten. Amerikanen, Russen, Duitsers, Engelsen. Wij niet, wij waren er vooral goed in om uit te leggen waarom doden en vechten slecht was, al waren we niet te beroerd er een grijpstuiver aan te verdienen.

Onze handen hebben wij nooit in onschuld gewassen, wij wassen onze handen in zedenpreken."

Hartelijke groet,

webmaster, Uruzgan weblog

@ Rutger

Did you take a look at the calendar section recently?
Coetzee admires Arnon's wit and sardonic intelligence. I found neither of them in your last comment.

"neither of those" instead of "them"

Arnon

Thanks, that really cheered me up.
I have a five year old nephew coming over from London for two weeks.
We're trying to raise him to be bilingual, but so for the Dutch language doesn't ring his bell.

Rutger

Your dad is a babe.

Mieke

I know Coetzee and AG are like buddy buddy, you know what I mean, with carrots and all, but that does not make AG especially intelligent, not even when the NRC supports the claim. One should always ask, "Who makes the claim?"

With regard to this little community, I believe it's like this. Coetzee is God, AG is his prophet, and then there are priests and priestesses (like yourself) and, of course, policemen who all praise the name of the New Messiah, whose main message is one of nothingness. No one cares to get anything clear or gain an understanding; the polemics you enjoy so much usually come to a premature ending by a few hits below the belt. No one in the congregation cares for anybody else but everybody supports each others claims; it's like a leper colony out here.

David

My Christmas plans. I have a huge tree, plenty of food and drinks, my father is dead but my mother is still alive so I'll be visiting her. And by the time this year is over I'll want to breath some fresh air, and so I will be out of here. Just a few more acidulous postings to bring this year to its proper and miserable ending, and I'll leave you with yours again.

Margot

How old are you? Are you into SM? Do you think we could meet? I'd like to read you some of my dad's stories.

RHCdG

I told you those pills would work.
Happy holidays!

RH CgD

There is nothing wrong with *happy about* as far as my dictionary goes.

And what's the point of pointing out someone's spelling mistakes? Is a such a sensitive nature anything to be proud of? I think not.

I could, for example, tell you that *breath some fresh air* is a wrong but I really don't care that you don't know the difference between a verb and a noun.

And your cheap relativism is getting tiresome. 'One should always ask, "Who makes the claim?"' Thanks again captain obvious.

Once again, you fail.

Webmaster Uruzgan

Thanks! Where have you been? I missed you. Are you still in Porta Westfalica?

"Tjitze"

You don't seem to know the difference between vernacular and a typo. Instead of staring at your dictionary, try and live in the locale. You'll pick up the lingo soon enough if you have any linguistic flair; if you don't, you can look it up in your English-Frysian dictionary.

Tjitze *is* your name, correct? Or is it a pseudonym chosen for the occasion, like some reactionary fetish? I like it!

Anyway, thanks for pointing out you're not pointing anything out. I thought it was pretty convincing for the crowd here.

Not pointing anything out? What I pointed out is that your talent for failure is extraordinary. If I were to operate in the same field as you do - failure, that is - I would consider you to be an opponent.

But all malarkey aside, mr. RdG, there are enough failures walking around on this planet, I'm sure you agree. You should put your energy into something else. Please consider another profession. I hear there is a shortage of fruit pickers. Honest advice: Put your energy into fruit picking. Forget about failure please. You have already convinced everyone you're good at that.

Tjitze

One of the advantages of cheap relativism, as you call it, is that it saves a lot of time. From now on, whenever I see your name, I know I won't have to read the posting. But don't let this discourage you from addressing me. The fruit picking bit was actually pretty good!

Rutger

All alone on a saturday night, just you and your keyboard.
Just picturing this is a real turn on.
Thaks for the offer, but I don't do minors.

@ Rutger

You repraoch us that most discussions, going on here ,end with blows below the belt, my conclusion ,after reading your comments, is that you master this feature more than we do. I even found some of your comments to be quit revealing about your self. F.E. "And there is this woman who wants sex with you.
She seems to read a lot, don't expect...." In my mind this is very telling how sexist vieuws even by (semi) intellectuals remain to exist in this world. I am collecting thes kind of quotes for some of my artwork. Yours is in it, I just wanted to let you know.

Margot

Don't be hard headed, it's Christmas time.

David

I know, but in this case, I'd much rather read a book.

Margot

Poor Rutger.
That means he has to stick his huge Christmas tree in his ass himself.

Arnon

Yes, I've left Porta Westfalica. Be welcome to join my Hyves (http://uwlm.hyves.nl); you'll find at least one friend you've met in Uruzgan there.
Meanwhile, you'll be pleased to hear that I've nominated a quote of yours as 'Quotation of the Year 2007' . A brilliant summary of the attitude of the Dutch (at large) towards armed conflict. "We 've never washed our hands in innocence; we wash them in moralizations". Or words to that extent - I'm sure you can come up with a better translation. (Dutch original: "Onze handen hebben wij nooit in onschuld gewassen, wij wassen onze handen in zedenpreken.")

David

Ooh, David... Don't you realize people might think I got to you when you write things like that? And you were doing so well!

Webmaster Uruzgan

What kind of contest is the nomination for exactly?

Arnon

Nothing prestigious, I'm afraid. For a year-ender in the Uruzgan Weblog, I'm collecting "the best on...Uruzgan". Pictures, stories, phrases.

Webmaster

Can I win an adward? I love to win small awards. But honor is fine with me too.