Arnon

Did he ever tell you anything about what he saw?

Who is Mickey the Fighter? I suppose he is as strong or he may be stronger than Mayu's own fear.

What comes to mind is: Songs of Innocence and Experience, William Blake. Sounds like you're being exposed to a shift from innocence to experience. Don't stop loving him and I'm sure he'll stop slaughtering chickens and humans.

Hanny and Noa

Where he lives, in Bolivia, it is quite common to kill a chicken in the backyard for soup and meat.
He was intrigued by the killing of the chicken -- and he is one of the biggest carnivores I have ever seen. I tried to introduce him to the idea of vegetarianism – to no avail.
Mickey the Fighter came into his life after he saw The Three Musketeers on television. He claims to have a sword, but sometimes he has also a machinegun. Though he prefers killing with the sword. (Which in my opinion is somehow honorable.)
I don’t get discouraged because of his interests -- don’t worry.
It strikes me as healthy; he is preparing for war.
On the other hand he recently declared that when he is a grown-up he would like to live alone with his mother in a clean house.
He likes clean houses as much as he likes swords.

Noa

I highly recommend David Axelrod's albums "Songs of Innocence" and "Songs of Experience".

Arnon

Why did you try to introduce your godson to the idea of vegetarianism?

Arnon

1)."It strikes me as healthy; he is preparing for war." - Why is preparation for a war strikes you as healthy?
2) American adults consume peanuts, somewhat obsessively. One of the explanations is that peanuts were forbidden in their diet when they where kids. Maybe it's ok to exactly not make an issue of toy rifle and trust that the love and respect your godson is rgetting will imune him from hurting others in adulthood.
3) A child is a reflection of his surroundings: were his caregivers vegetarians he too might have been one. By the way, it is very confusing to slaughter chickens but bot to be allowed to carry a gun.
4) If he has no access to the roots of the violent drama he is acting out, i think it is ok just to let him act it out. It needs to be expressed somehow. If you try to intervene, block it, holding on to an agenda, you'll end up contributing to a more elaborated form of venting this memory out. Better just stay out of the way and keep loving him in all the other ways.

Neria

7:13 AM. You make me proud! Now go and have some morning coffee.
I keep thinking of this phrase in Dangerous Liaisons: '
'You'll find that shame is just like pain. You only feel it once."

Margot dear,

Maybe i'm misinterpreting the whole thing. When i started keeping silent i was still amused. It lasted approximately 24 hours. Yesterday it has changed its nature and became more deep and full of pain and insights. i thought the first thing i'll write when coming back from the deads, will be a 'thank you' to you because your invitation made it a conscious decision (before, i didn't place comments where i had nothing to contribute to the discussed topic, or when i was at sea regarding to Arnon's reactions). Yesterday i realised i worth being treated more gently. Right from the start Noa tried to wake me up or guard me and i realised, yesterday too, that i felt what she was talking about in a huge delay. The very weird thing is that for reasons i don't want to mention now, it takes time until i give up some people whom i think might need me.
i'm not sure how to translate the word "Xesed" from Hebrew to English without sounding patronising and defensive, but i prefer to avoid punishing anyone by withdrwaing from them (although to withdraw at certain times is the right manner to express love).
i didn't feel once shame. i was only sad about the brutality. Probably i don't need to bear it and probably bearing it will heal nobody. Nevertheless, i describe life.
How did you feel the last two days?

Boys will be boys

I think most little boys like violence. My son (4 yrs) runs through the house as a soldier or a knight lots of times and a friend of his recently said he has to kill his litlle sisters. Both girls are still alive. Boys will be boys.

I liked my guns and rifles when I was a kid, but I turned out to be quite feminine after all. In Panama I visited a cock-fight, and though I'm a vegetarian, I liked that too.

Neria!

It's a bit like doing Vipassana, only the mild version. When you're not allowed to do something, the mind starts to crave it, whether it's typing, playing tennis or eating chocolate cookies, That's why diets only make people fat.
Once one desire is fulfilled, we move on to the next, that's how most people spend their day. Everything we do is an attempt to find happiness and avoid suffering. Nevertheless, I didn't have much to comment the past few days, so it wasn't very painful. My appartment has never been this clean.
Much love.

Dear Margot,

Same same, i didn't feel i wanted to place any comment the last two day. At my old age i'm less OCD than ever. Many times when i do place a comment it is only to acknowlege whomever of my solidarity and not more than that. (though i had one weird moment when i read about Ada and thought i'd like to read it in Dutch and then immediately after that Oscar made his offer to Arnon. i ordered it in English, i hope Oscar's taste in literature is better than Arnon's cause i don't trust Arnon anymore...).
Unfortunately Arnon's godson would probably sprint away from this appartment and try to keep himself as far away as he can from it as i did some reading and i don't know how to tackle the dirt...
Talking about cleaning, it brings to my mind J.P. Donleavy's novella "The Lady Who Liked Clean Rest Rooms" (had i her money cleaning was somebody's elses task ;))
If i'll end up cleaning then you are invited to challange me with another Vipassana (but it will take more than two days to break me ;))
Chin-chin!

Neria, hi there, i have a request , would u consider starting your own blog? personally i´m quite courieus how you experience living in Tel Aviv, what´ s the view from your window, how does the bilding in which yoe are living look like? Tel Aviv in Neria´s eyes... I am quite sure that you can reccon on small audience
check that out : https://www.blogger.com/start
i´m looking forward for a premiere !

chickens, .. or rabbits

In Spain, where my family in law is from, this slaughtering in the backyard is normal as well. One tia asked my husband when he was a little 'nino' which rabbit he liked the best. He and his sister argued a bit and finally they chose the cutest and softest litlle browneyed rabbit. You can finish the rest of the story. He loves meat, simply loves it.
It is just so wonderfull seeing young people making their own compilation out of everything that has happened.

As death is part of our life, kids do know about it , but they don´t really understand what it is , at least bit less than adults, who did expierience the consequence of death of beloved ones. It is fascinating subject to kids. I have almost daily converstations with my 4 year old about death and healing as she is really couries of hospitals and process of healing when you are ill or have a wound . This morning while speaking as such i ´ve almost told her that some people are dead while alive , but at a split of second , i decided to not tell such a thing, yet .
I know some people (having their childern at Montessori or Vrije School-funny fact) who are reasing their children on vegeterian diet. And you should see the expression on the faces of those children when they are at party with bbq with tasty sausages. It is nothing less than longing. I think to be a vegetarian, if you are a vegetarian and not some hipocrit who calls him/her self while f.e. eating fish... is a individual process of choices which a kid is hardly able to make (while having expirences prepering for such a choices).

There will always be the option of karatelessons. In karate you learn to master your own aggression and how to turn the aggression of your opponent in his direction as a form of selfdefence.

Dear Zirilla,

i live in Jerusalem on a mountain top, and the mountains i see from my window are covered with olive and vine terraces. Luckyly nobody is building anything there and the only building i see from afar (now i can't, the valley is filled with light) is of a monastery. Soon, unfortunately, this pastoral bliss will be scarred by the very ugly wall that is building all the time now. i wonder if the men, women and children who dig daily in the ugly huge street garbage tanks come from behind the still half transparent wall? i don't want to scarry anyone but when they will be gone we will still be left with the cats. Lately, many of them are missing their tails.
The only place i felt was a foreign country for me is Tel-Aviv. But if i'll learn how to open a blog there i'll tell you exactly why.

Where are you coming from? And what does Zirilla means?

@Neria

answering your question,
i was born in Poland,
lived in Australia for a while,
now i live in the Netherlands ,
don't know for how long, yet,
Zirilla is a name of a bird: swallow ,
in one of the ancient languages .
Did you know that 'Biala' means 'white' in Polish?
so i can't help it and read your name 'Neria White ' .
Starting a blog is quite easy ,
check this website https://www.blogger.com/start ,
thanks for discrabing the view from your window,
i pictured it guite clear ...with olive treas and cats without tails...

Oh it looks so real! He must feel a power that can not be compared to anything he has felt in his life yet. Exciting! Splendid! Don't take it away from him.
As long as he is the angel as ever when he goes to bed and kisses his mother
good night, I guess there is nothing to worry about. She knows.

The sunny side of it ...

...is South Amirica is turning Left again. Hope the North will let them do their own thing now. No more Chile & Argentina kind of horror this time. The sunny side of it all is up north has more troubles to stomach at home then abroad now...have you all seen the Dow Jones...

Oops, forgot the endemic cocain/crack habbit the centire Northern continent seems to suffer from... perhaps this godson is gonna be another Escobar..for childhood is root of all evil ( accourding to Freud)

Coopperative Blog

Dear everyone,
Lately i have discovered i derive a lot of satisfaction from working with others (a very new experince for me, usually i'm a generous solist). Zirilla suggested i will open a new blog but with all my respect for myself i'm afraid i'm not that interesting, plus, my life circumstances do not allow me to daily contribute to a blog (here Arnon may disagree with me... ;)) Anyway, i invite anyone here to take part in this experiment and commit oneself to write once a week in a cooporative blog (if there's one especially hated day - i don't mind taking it). This initiative can be a fiasco of course, but i can think of harder blows in life.

Comrades?

And don't forget this chickenkiller is only three and a half!

Dear Zirilla,

Somehow i had the idea i'm 3/4 Hungarian and 1/4 from Biala. i knew it was white. i think it is somewhere in the area that changed authorities from Russian to Polish (White Russia) a couple of times. Anyway, i'm an eighth generation here (unlike my best friend whose family had to flee Spain some 500 years ago). Jews are always on the move...

Zirilla

There is no connection whatsoever between the Montessori school system and vegetarianism.

Oscar

Because he is a carnivore with a vengeance — not that anything is wrong with that -- it seemed to be healthy to me to introduce him to alternatives.

Neria

The least you can go do is try to get your information right. Yes, there is such a thing as a peanut allergy, and it’s possible that it is more widespread in the US than elsewhere, but the suggestion that people in the US eat more peanuts than others because they were not allowed to eat peanuts when they were young as is as far as I know grotesque. I cannot wait for the day that you start your own blog. I pray that as soon as you’ll have your own site you will be able to limit the amount of comments on this site.

Even rice kills

It's nice that you tried to introduce him to the idea of vegetarianism. But I learned that even rice and pasta can kill you. Two days ago I was admitted in the hospital with food intoxication after eating re-heated rice my mother made. Normally it's not a severe disease, but I am suffering both types of
Bacillus cereus. The doctor told me that this kind of bacteria can kill small children. Even today children die after eating re-heated spaghetti.
So maybe it's not a bad idea to let your godson continue preparing for war.

Arnon

The manager at Sant Ambroeus is looking forward to see you.

Monica

I hope your mother wasn't trying to kill you.
And I'm glad you survived the food poisining.

Arnon

I'm not sure if she wanted to murder me. She was angry though. but god knows why. I think she still can't cope with the idea I left home more than a year ago. A mother's love can be hard.

Monica

Your comment appealed to me, because I think my mother never forgave me that I left home and moved to the Netherlands. She thinks I rejected her.
In Italy it's quite normal to live with your parents till you are thirty. I left home when I was 27.
The funny thing is I married a girl who reminded me of my mother.
I'm sorry if this sounds incestious, but it is the truth.

David

No problem if the things you say are distasteful or embarrassing to the reader; the truth is all that matters.

Peanuts

The informtion i took came from either (or both) Ellyn Satter's Child of Mine,and Laura Fraser's Losing It. i hope you do trust American Registered Dietitians who ny the way are also LSCW (or your appretiation is kept for psychoanalysts only?).
i hope your arrogance is not consistent because although anyone my agree or not agree to the conclusions of a research the peanuts exmple is as widespread as the notion of Pavlovian conditioning.

i will not place a comments here anymore. If Johannes or Jan Thijs or Noa will agree to give anyone who's interested my email address, i will appreciate theis help.

Neria

Your trust in registered dieticians seems to me slightly naïve, but if it turns out that Americans do eat more peanuts than other people because they were not allowed to eat peanuts as a child I apologize for the suggestion that your statement was grotesque and not based on facts.
I wonder if peanut butter equals peanuts according to registered American Dieticians.
Let me put it this way: if you are the peanut, I’m the allergy and your statements are the peanut butter.
Having said this: if your happiness is dependent on leaving comments on this site, please continue.
For your happiness I’m willing to go far.

Oscar

The manager at St A handed the book to me. Is the cd inside the book also meant for me?
When do you need the book back?
Do you need the cd back?
What's on it? Pictures? Music? Documents?

My happiness

Arnon, just don't chicken, and never ever censorize me again as you did last night with my collective invitation to the Cooperative Blog.

monica

I have thought of poisoning my children too.
They don not want to leave the house!

Strangling chickens - scene in Hitchcock's ROPE.

Arnon your story mad me think of this scene:

Everyone was eating dinner on the sarcophage with the body of David, a young man strangled with a rope by his friends. The two murderers were the only ones who new the body was there. A lady is serving chicken. One of the murderers becomes pale and says he doesn't like chicken. An other lady asks: 'There must be a reason, Freud said there is e reason for everything'. The other murderer explains that Philip once strangled two chickens. on which David replies it isn't true. 'I never strangled a chicken!' The young lady says: ' It's funny you two being so intense about a dead chicken.' They continue arguing and James Stuart's character comes in between: 'In an other moment you might be strangling each other. You know, a chicken is as good reason for a murder, as a blond or a mattres full of dollar bills'..

David Martino

There is something special between mothers and sons, that doesn't exist between mothers and daughters.
I think that eventually, a daughter does'nt miss her mother.

david martino

It seems obvious to me that a lot of men are married to a girl who reminds them of their mother. When they divorce they choose a women who look like their ex wife.

Neria

Censorize? Neria, there are other comments and other commentators I don’t really appreciate. One can just ignore them. In your case I would like to honor you with more than just silence: Could you please leave?

Arnon

I would like to have the book back by the end of this year, if possible. The audio CD is yours to keep. Let me know if you need more information concerning the CD.

Oscar W

All my computers gave the same message when I tried to insert the CD: This CD is not readable by this computer.
The manager at Sant Ambroeus seemed to be happy to hand the book to me.
Did you develop a special relationship with him?
How is Laura? Are you still together? Laura seemed to have disappeared from my radar screen.
You will get the book back by the end of the year.

To all

Due to a technical problem we were experiencing yesterday this comment by Neria was accidentally removed. I apologize for the distress that this might have caused to some of you.

Coopperative Blog
Dear everyone, Lately i have discovered i derive a lot of satisfaction from working with others (a very new experince for me, usually i'm a generous solist). Zirilla suggested i will open a new blog but with all my respect for myself i'm afraid i'm not that interesting, plus, my life circumstances do not allow me to daily contribute to a blog (here Arnon may disagree with me... ;)) Anyway, i invite anyone here to take part in this experiment and commit oneself to write once a week in a cooporative blog (if there's one especially hated day - i don't mind taking it). This initiative can be a fiasco of course, but i can think of harder blows in life. Comrades?

@Oscar, thanks for the recommendation, the wikipedia entry on him sounds interesting so I'll buy the music tomorrow.

@A.G.

From four families who ´have´ their children at Montessori school , four, i happened to know, three of them are vegeterian and rise their kids as such. The fourth one which is not vegeterian choose for Montessori not for it´s idealogy but other reason(...) . I wasn´t making a statement that Montessori school has something to do with vegetarianism but was simply giving un example from my social network , where the connection between vegetarianism and Montessori is happening.
By the way, you were bit ruf on Neria ...

Arnon

I apologize for the faulty CD. I well send Johannes a replacement copy.
The manager at Sant Ambroeus seemed a little concerned that his restaurant would turn into a post office. He was busy stacking wine bottles in a large glass cabinet.
Laura is doing well. We are still together. As I write this message, we are staying with Laura's parents. After dinner, Laura told a story about when she was bitten by the gerbil of her Japanese neighbors. She was six years old at the time.

Noa

I'm not sure if you will get this message in time, but I would recommend buying the compilation album "The Edge -- David Axelrod at Capitol Records 1966-1970".

Oxymoron

"Laura is doing well. We are still together."

Oscar, thnx, I'll look into it tonight when everyone's asleep. I'm hoping to find your recommendations on Itunes and specifically interested in Blake's poems.