That's a beautifully sad story. In a way, dreams that aren't realisable are the best ones, for they keep you going. But you need hope.
It's sad that this girl, at 19, lost all her hope. I have some stored for the next 5 years.

Arnon

But had she lived you would call her a whiner, and ask her why she refuses to serve her country.

Arnon,

Would you or could you ever use the gun you carry on the picture?

it seems you have a lot of fun there

@ Arnon

What touched younthe most emotionally? Was it the fact that she was a girl, the fact that she was so young or maybe even because she was a soldier, a fighter who gave up fighting , that struck you the most?
Several of my friends committed suicide. Even now, so many years later I still feel heartbroken when I think of them. Each of them had unique personalities and I came to the conclusion you can't replace your friends, you can only go looking for other friends.

Mieke

There was something emotional for me about the story, maybe because this week I spent some time with female soldiers, maybe it was because of her parents for whom I felt deeply and who knows, maybe because the girl was beautiful – I think the picture cannot bee seen on the on-line edition – I hope not, but you never know. And of course the realization that parents fuck you up, as a poet famously remarked, society fucks you up, but the way the army can fuck you up is different.
I cried while reading the story, but then again maybe I was just too tired.

Helen

I cannot operate the M 16. I hesitated to put up this picture; the chance of misinterpretation and abuse is obviously big. But the picture reminded me of a powerful documentary about women serving in the Israeli army “To see if I’m smiling.” That’s why I decided to use the picture, because of the smiles and the M 16's.

(Yes the small girl is the beautiful one too.)
Please people dry your tears, the governments, the armies and the companies do not give a damn about you. They laugh with your tears. Never show tears, show them hate or ignore them. Please.

The article starts with a tragic short poem of the girl: "I want to leave with a crash and noise / The flesh crushed like the soul / The body broken like the girl". This is really very sad.

My mate ( 21) and the social centre of the appartmenthouse on the campus was packing Christmas presents for his family. For everyone he wrote a funny poem. Then he decided to commit suicide. The reason was and still is a mystery for all who called themselves his friend.

Arnon,

Who would abuse your photograph. No-one I suppose. Don't be afraid

Jan,

You're so cynical. Keep faith in the goodness of the most of the people in this world. Although there are bad ones who operate mostly in groups. So be aware of a group

What is it that keeps us alive?
The obligation to live?

breathing and don't cross the highway blindfolded

Jan T

Crying is not a virtue, quite the opposite, but it happens sometimes I’m afraid, and I don’t think tears are necessarily connected to governments or government actions. But maybe I missed your point.
In most armies crying is a taboo. And personally I cannot stand actors or writers who cry on television when they get an award. But that’s another story.

Helen

I have been accused of glorifying war on this site, and outside this site I have heard worse things than that.

That what moves me is when I read, hear or see things which seems so senseless and are yet so meaningfull. Crying is not a virtue, observation and realization is...

Thank you for sharing.

Arnon

I think you should get tired more often. Intelectualism in not a virtue too, far less than feelings are, if you ask me (not that I think feelings are a virtue, but I do respect feelings as much as I respect our right to snese hunger ). Also, maybe in relation to disgust, I think feelings sometimes are more moraliy accurate than logic .

Arnon,

Worse things ???? wauw gossip !! tell me more..... yes. ...... can I tell the Telegraaf

Arnon,
No joking now. Since i am frequenting this blog I get the idea you"re struggling with the idea war. Aren't we all interested in how we - as a person -would act in serious and threadfull situations. Ask myself "Would I be a hero, impressed by the beautiful energic young people in their uniforms, the power of a gun? " "Would I be influenced and calling people names they don't deserve.?
I hope I would pass the test being a good person who makes the right decisions in the right moment who can be humble and strong at the same time.

@Arnon (and Helen)

Arnon, please don't twist my words. The exact words I initially used were: "Arnon, please explain why you find it necessary to ADD to the glorification of war?" I did not say you were gloriyfing war. Later, in our discussions - I nuanced the above by saying in the very least you had glorified soldiers of war in one of your articles in Het Parool and on various blog entries. I said that the misinterpretation regarding your outlook on war (which is that you do not glorify war, as you firmly expressed) was based on inconsistent messages you yourself were sending through various of your writings. You never reacted to this whereas I was only explaining why there's a danger that people could misinterpret you.
I connected my comment to the British obsession and newfound adoration of Prince Harry as he has obviously become a hero overnight due to the 'manly coolness' of him in army uniform and boots and guns and motorbikes and sand and dust. It's a romanticized, almost filmlike, image of a hero. Your picture of the boots and your entry of that day had the same 'manly coolness' to them.
Anyway, it seems you've taken my comment to heart as you're being more careful in how you portray yourself in relation to the army and war. At least I've gained that - I've made you aware, even if in your eyes it's an awareness to the ignorance of people like me. Clearly, from what you say to Helen, the ignorant are in the majority out there. So once again: keep being careful. Alot of people read your words.

@Arnon
In this case tears had a connection to government actions and armies too, but not to companies. You did not miss a point. I do not cry, sometimes I have outbursts of anger and despair, mostly when I am tired.

Noa

I’m not sure what you mean with inconsistencies; yes there is something attractive about war, that’s why I decided to go back.
If you are referring to the letter I wrote to a captain, now major, with whom I spent time in Afghanistan last fall; I wrote about something that happens more often in war zones. People might be willing to die for you, because of their profession or affection of a combination of both, it’s easy to take this willingness for profound friendship and maybe it is exactly that. Maybe not. Anyhow this experience made a big impression on me; it touched me; it affected me.