Arnon Grunberg
Words Without Borders

The Great Israeli Badminton Novel

Now let us praise those who are capable of skiing.
There's no irony here. Compared to football, golf and hockey, skiing is an elegant sport to watch. The beautiful thing about skiing is that you don’t break other people’s legs or noses. Usually, you stick to breaking your own.
Environmentalists might complain that skiing is bad for nature, and they probably have a point, but compared to auto-racing, it is just about the greenest thing you could do.
And finally, because the male skier is indistinguishable from the female skier, nobody can use the sport as an excuse to ogle other people’s bodies.
So where is the Great American Ski Novel? Or the Great Austrian Ski Novel, for that matter? I’d never asked this question without reading an essay in The New York Times Book Review by Keith Gessen, called “In Search of The Great American Hockey Novel.” According to Mr. Gessen, The Great American Hockey Novel has not come into existence yet, and he seems to be tired of waiting.
A whole new world with urgent questiones opened up for me. Where is The Great South African Chess Novel, for example? And how much longer do we have to wait for The Great Israeli Badminton Novel? We all know they have are having a hard time in the Middle East right now. But we also know that it is really unfair that authors over there keep hiding the passions that badminton can arouse.
So after spending a few days in the French Alps, I decided to write the Great American Ski Novel.
I know I write my novels in Dutch, and even worse, I’m not able to survive more than four seconds on skis. But these problems are solvable.
So I’m looking urgently for an American man or woman who is good at skiing and who is willing to work with me on the Great American Ski Novel.
All your expenses will be reimbursed. I plan three or four trips to ski resorts (economy class) and if your body language is not threatening we can share a hotel room.
Minorities and right-wing Christians are preferred. This is connected with the storyline, and has nothing to do with political issues.
Please don’t wait too long, the season is almost over.


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