Most parents have made similar remarks before becoming parents themselves. Others will then remind them of these remarks, at the appropriate time. Depending on who the other is, these reminders serve to shame the new parent or to enforce solidarity ('So you thought you were better than us. Now you know the truth'). The initial remarks imply a certain moral disapproval that is not easily forgotten by other parents.

My parents made most of the presents themselves, those are the presents that I have the fondest memories of.

Home-made presents

My mother made me very strange ill-fitting sweaters that made me look like a floppy balloon. Those are the presents I have the least happy memories of.

(Not that we had Sinterklaas, we only had Christmas. For some reason the Dutch settlers left Sinterklaas behind in Holland when they colonized South Africa. Or perhaps he hadn't been invented yet.)

Your godson has several girlfriends?

No! The trick is: give your kids the stuff you want yourself. My son got a watch - now I don’t need to wear one anymore (“Honey, can you tell me the time?”) My daughter got loads of comic books - of course all my favourite series. And an audio play, with a Tom Barman cameo. (Hmm, Tom Barman) Sometimes, being a parent is easy. And fun.
Thank you mister Grunberg for the perfect parent excuse. “That will give them something to write about when they’re 18”. Love it! (Because yes: guilty on the selfmade floppy balloon sweater front. )

Flood of presents

Even me, I got a flood of presents from Saint-Nicholas when I was a toddler (mostly at the house of my aunt and grandparents). But for some reason I never received what had asked for. For example, if I specifically requested for a particular toy car model, I got half a dozen of other toy cars instead. It was one of the principles of my parents to never give what you want, I learned later.
And of all the chocolate figurines, the head was always bitten off…
‘Because you have to learn to share with others, with your father for example, you selfish boy’, mother explained.
But I liked the celebration of Saint-Nicholas.

We had a birch ( martemenee) at home. It was never used, except that one time my younger sister used it on me. I could feel it for the rest of the week;

@Arnon
Better be a Black Pete for the adults !
(But, please, do not hit Mieke, nor me … )

Bernard

I love being spanked , especially by Arnon.

My God, now I understand why there is always a Black Pete next to a good Saint Nicholas. Goodness means nothing without the excitement. Thank you, Mieke.
(I am still learning and writing, even when I am close to 64.)

Mieke

What are you seeking punishment for?

Michel

I made these remarks in jest.

Carlos

For my hubris.

Carlos

And wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and gluttony.

Mieke, you naughty girl !

Arnon

Well, the pound of potatoes suggested as much. I hope you used the Dutch phrase "een mud aardappelen". I would like to keep that in circulation as long as possible.

While I understand it was a joke, among parents humor is the chief medium of enforcing morals and discipline. So the fact that it was in jest doesn't mean the audience won't take it seriously.

Michel

My funnier remark was that we should recycle the wrapping paper and use it again next year. (At least I thought that it was pretty funny.) My mother used to be a great recycler of wrapping paper by the way. To groom a child for literature is not necessarily the same as enforcing morals, but I agree: the joke is never completely innocent

Recycling wrapping paper

I'm not being ironic when I say that recycling wrapping paper is an act of beauty. I'm not sure why, but I'm touched when I see someone carefully loosening the scotch tape and unfolding the paper, then straigthening out the paper and putting it in a safe place. Especially when no one is watching. It reminds me of this line of Borges:
"He who strokes a sleeping animal."

The full poem is here:
http://www.noutopia.com/poem_borges_the_just.html

"een mud aardappelen"
I like that.