I too have learnt the benevits of controled honesty after too many experiences with recklessness. I have tried the benevits of lying as well. I think my subjective honesty kills. Cudos on the behaviourism.

c should be k.

@Arnon

In the end, aren't we all then diplomats ;)
I love pink champagne by the way. Recently a diplomat offered me some by his pool (yes Margot... I know what you're thinking). It was before noon and he said "Prince Bernhard always drank pink champagne and Chablis". I'm sure that scene will put you off from ever giving anyone pink champagne again.

honesty

I hope your books will not be very diplomatic Arnon.

Noa

Life's too short to worry about what I might be thinking.
Please enjoy your champagne (and don't forget about the gardener).

Gracian

On the art of conversation I would like to encourage everyone to take up a book by Gracian (one of those geniuses of Spanish 17th century literature, a Jewish Jesuit, translated into English (and into Dutch by Theo Kars).
Gracian is exactly at the opposite of reckless honesty. It is first of all the art of prudence.
Reckless honesty seems to be a sign of youth. As the youth is, in its best moments, agitated by what with a certain pathos could be called ‘a burning desire for truth’, it typically feels the necessity to expose the false appearances of the social order. A bulldozer-therapy which is often amusing, painful sometimes, but rarely effective. Of course, it can shake things up a little, but in the end experience shows that prudence is more effective, which means, first of all, not to approach the truth directly.
The strategy of reckless honesty is arrogant – in the believe that it speaks the truth and has a right to do so – but above all, naief – in the belief that honesty is a warranty of speaking the truth, but after all it functions well as a defence-mechanism. Against what? Paradoxically: a fundamental dishonest position.

@Margot

At present it's all about nescafé, boiled water, tapioca and manioc. An interesting change from Chablis. What I find even more interesting is how somehow there's always a wifi connection, even in a village where being blonde is a show-stopper (not me mind you, my son).

Johan

I sympathize with your comment but I noticed that contrary to your other comments on this site this post seemed to have provoked anger, or at least you felt the need to make a rather strong moral judgment.
Yes the inclination to be recklessly honest is connected to the youth; it’s the Holden Caulfield cliché.
There are by the way many octogenarians who think they are finally entitled to be recklessly honest, but somehow the octogenarian who takes this position is considered less romantic, less appealing than the teenager who blurs his truth into the world.
You should elaborate on your idea that being recklessly honest is a fundamentally dishonest position.
For one what would be a fundamentally honest position?
Wasn't your moral judgment a sign of reckless honesty?

Noa

I know that diplomats are a problematic issue in your life. Maybe it’s time to convince yourself that you can love your father while disapproving of his job, maybe it’s time to finally separate from him?
Anyhow a while ago Frenchmen noted on this site that it is Champagne Rosé not pink champagne. As somebody who loves to be entertained near the swimming pool by diplomats you should make an effort not to come across as a plebeian.

@Arnon -
pink champagne is fine enough for me, the content stays the same whatever you call it. But if ever you were to take me to one of those fine restaurants you regularly visit with erudite and refined people like yourself, I'll make sure to call it by its correct name so I don't embarass you ;)
One thing I do in all sincerity want to ask of you though Arnon - I'd appreciate it if you were to refrain from telling me what to do in relationship to my father. However plebish I may be, I at least have the decency to never ever comment on your relationship with your mother, however much you yourself choose to tell us about her.

Noa

If a writer thinks that the content remains the same whatever you call it he or she should look for another job.

Noa

Could you mail me your url again?

Noa/Arnon

Cheers, I'll drink to that.

Arnon

A bit too sharp that comment, I acknowledge.
Rackless honesty, it is like adding salt: not too modest, not too much. As a phenomenon it should be praised (is it not the sign of ‘a true hero’?), but not encouraged as a strategy.
Rackless honesty, that could be the young homosexual expressing his sexual inclinations no matter what the social costs. Or a western girl converted to Islam and starting to wear a veil. And we admire it in childeren.
But as a consistent social strategy it echoes too much the complex of ‘the beautifull soul’: “in this corrupted world, in which I have no part, I speak in the name of honesty...”
That the subject claims to have no part in that world, is what I felt as a sign of dishonesty. For the subject is involved from the very beginning. Which does not mean rackless honesty functions very well as a defence against this involvement.
By the way, psychoanalysis (or whatever variant) seems to be the only social link in which rackless honesty as a consistent social strategy is not destructive in the long run, but constructive. That is why it is a mistake to take your analyst for a friend and you have to pay him for your honesty.

Johan

Your explanation sounds very reasonable.
But the question remains: what is a fundamentally honest position in a corrupted world?

Arnon

If a fundamentally honest position in a corruptable world is possible is questionable.
Perhaps for an ‘afvallige’ living in the ‘afval’ (excuse me the dutch wordplay).

Sometimes it sufficient to provoke honesty.

@Arnon

I suppose Tirza wouldn't be Tirza if it (the novel, not the character) had been called Thirza. I wish I could survive in a different job, because quite frankly ther perks on this one aren't so great (and I don't mean that purely in financial terms). Anyway, I'm happy to see you've moved from advising me what to do with my father, to advising me what to not do as a profession. I really think we're gaining some territory here, don't you? Soon enough we'll be ready to have that coffee. Would it be okay if I called you 'honey' then, or would that risk changing who you are?

@Dens

I don't have your email address, you once kept a blog but I'm not sure where to find you now.

Noa

I'm quite sure you can survive in a different job. If you think you cannot I'm afraid you are being dishonest.