2008/06/30 New York
Finding the mother
Cheney
For the first time in weeks, no months, I went alone to the movies. I saw the French movie “The Grocer’s Son” – not a great movie but charming and a convincing commercial for life in small villages in the southern part of France.
The movie is about a man who has a mobile and a stationary grocery.
The interesting thing is that the movie is arguing that running a mobile grocery and selling tomatoes to old people in a small village is an utterly romantic thing to do – maybe even a noble thing.
On a different note, the Sunday Magazine of the Times published an amusing interview with Mr. Thurman, a profesor of Buddhist studies:
“What do you think about when you meditate? Usually, some form of trying to excavate any kind of negative thing cycling in the mind and turn it toward the positive. For example, when I am annoyed with Dick Cheney, I meditate on how Dick Cheney was my mother in a previous life and nursed me at his breast.
You mean you fantasize about being breast-fed by Dick Cheney? It’s a fantasy of releasing fear and developing affection. It’s a way of coming back to feeling grateful toward him and seeing his positive side, finding the mother in Dick Cheney.”
This is important. Do you dislike a person? Let’s say your ex-girlfriend or your ex-boyfriend.
Think of this person as somebody who was your mother in a previous life.
In general the thought that Dick Cheney is breast-feeding you is a healthy fantasy for any adult.
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35 comments 
My goodness. And I thought my meditations were weird…but nevertheless, if it helps him. And it is still better than to go out burning and looting.
The fantasy of my own seventyfour year old mother breastfeeding me gives me cold sweat. Not only because she looks a bit like Dick Cheney.
such an indifferentiation "picturing dick cheney as your mother" is a bit retarded i think. it's like picturing a tiger to be a rabbit. it's not a rabbit - it's a tiger, get out of the way or you'll get killed.
@ Dries
You didn't distinct the two kinds of danger you were trying to compare.There's physical danger and danger that only exist in a persons mind. A tiger in front of you mostly belongs to the first category and cannot be beaten by a mental tric. When people fear something that doesn't physically threaten them, the mental tric can work, since the fear was only mental in the first place.
@Arnon
I can imagine you riding a SRV-wagon in a remote part of the province of Groningen and writing about it. Just for a week, or as long as you like it. I know a guy in Laren who has a car like that. If you're interested, let me know.@Jeanette
Living in such a remote part of the province of Groningen, I have to inform you that the SRV wagon has disappeared here ages ago too. The "visboer" still comes around once a week though.
Living in such a remote part of the province of Groningen, I have to inform you that the SRV wagon has disappeared here ages ago too. The "visboer" still comes around once a week though.
Well Ron, wouldn't it be nice then to see the SRV-wagon back again, just for a limited period, with Arnon, provided the car doesn't carry any fish.
The guy I know still drives his wagon, although a lot of people wonder why.
The guy I know still drives his wagon, although a lot of people wonder why.
Sure, it would be nice. But what I mean is that it would not compare to the situation in the movie since the SRV wagon is not part of everyday life anymore here, as the grocer's wagon apparently still is in the rural setting of the movie. The SRV-man probably wouldn't even have customers. Arnon could just as well come by in a Pipo the Clown wagon.
Which would also be nice of course.
Which would also be nice of course.
Sidenote
Whatever Mr. Thurman professes, I doubt it's Buddhist studies. Duting meditation, any thought of Dick Cheney or anybody/anything else, would then dissolve into nothingness/wholeness (cf. "vol-ledigheid" in Dutch). Transforming Dick Cheney into one's mother sounds more like a derivative of the current healing hype known as "The Secret".Finding the mother? I thought the trick in life was to grow up. Finding the daughter seems more effective then...
Rutger
According to this article (click on the link) Mr. Thurman is a professor in Buddhist studies. Uma is his daughter. Are you a Buddhist?Jeanette
I’m interested but I see that some commentators are doubtful if this can be an effective endeavor. Please contact my assistant Johannes (Johannes@arnongrunberg.com) for further discussions.Rutger
Your view on buddhism is not correct. There are many different schools using different types of meditation. Zen buddhism focuses mainly on breathing techniques and focusing on the void, like you wrote. The practice of meditating on all living beings as our mother is mostly found in Mahayana buddhism.When a person is ready to take to pursue enlightenment, he or she needs a strong motivation, which is called bodhicitta. This bodhicitta means that we wish to attain enlightenment and or break the cycle of existence for the benifit of all sentient beings, not just for one self. As we may not like some of these sentient beings, we imagine that they may once have been our mother.
I'm going to try this on my mother. That'll be fun.
Welcome to Jeannette.
Welcome to Jeannette.
Margot
I don't know too much about Mahayana. If we want to make classifications, my outlook would probably fit Zen better. Be that as it may, not liking someone or something does not seem to square with the principle to think beyond the subject ("I"). Zen Buddhists are indifferent to a lot of things. We need to accept even Dick Cheney, not to replace him with someone who fits our preferences better. All obstacles are like ever changing weather conditions around a mountain top. Or, in the words of Lucebert:visser van Ma Yuan
onder wolken vogels varen
onder golven vliegen vissen
maar daartussen rust de visser
golven worden hoge wolken
wolken worden hoge golven
maar intussen rust de visser
As for breaking the cycle of existence, not for oneself but for all sentient beings (i.e., the object of boddhisatvas), this is where Buddhism and I part. Life is not about going towards an end, neither literally nor metaphorically. There is no object, like there is no subject. There are life forces. We need to affirm life, and live it like we would want all things that happen to return eternally. Or, this is how I (and Nietzsche, and Heraclitus before him) look at it.
Arnon
It's not like I don't believe you, I don't believe Mr. Thurman. And no, I am not a Buddhist. I am nothing, and I am everything.Rutger
Do you believe that life needs affirmation?For anyone who wants to read about Zen in a down to earth way , I can recommend the books of Janwillem van de Wetering on the subject, starting with "Een lege spiegel". Furthermore there is the very practical book of Zen teacher Joko Beck (1917), "Everyday Zen" (also translated in Dutch). Interesting to read on the subjects of relations.
Oscar
No.Rutger
I quote: "We need to affirm life".Oscar
By quoting, you are suggesting you can read. Please don't ask me to point out the difference between your quote and your question.Rutger
Have any of your attempts to affirm life proved succesful?Oscar
As you may know, one can be very successful in denying life by being put on a crucifix, and subsequently becoming the world's redeemer. (Another, smaller way might be to drive an SRV van, and write a bestseller about it). My way, by contrast, is through constant failure. The string of idiots such as yourself who follow in my wake can thus be taken as a measure of my success.Rutger
Are all these things you`re saying coming out of your head? Unbelievable. Unbelievably stupid.Manon
You are proving my point. Thanks!Rutger
Those remarks are not very enlightened. Take a deep breath and focus on the void.Margot
Do you feel my remarks would be more enlighted if I thought of you as my mother? Or, is it because you do not want to be in the same league with Dick Cheney? Whatever the case, please keep in mind that to me you are like a weather condition around a mountain top. If you need any enlightenment, come sit on my lap.Rutger
I'll come sit on your lap if you make Roedjak Manis while reading Lucebert.My ex-boyfriend used to say that my moods were like violent flood waves, hits out of nowhere and destroys anything in sight.
Margot
This just came in: http://papierenman.blogspot.com/2008/07/schrijver-wordt-voorlezer-aan-bed.html. Perhaps he might console you?Rutger
Thanks for the weblink, but a Personal Servant is more my thing.Someone who cooks, cleans, and washes all my delicates by hand.
I once tried to meditate on Philip Dewinter. Since that day I am not able to get his voice out of my head. Have mercy on me.
it's not because two beings are similar that they are interchangeable.
"affirm life" seems so poor to me? You know Nietzsche was probably a very unhappy man. I never believe him when he talks about the affirmation of life. It sounds he likes he's trying too hard.
I wish to know your thoughts, maybe i haven't understood it correctly
I wish to know your thoughts, maybe i haven't understood it correctly
Dries
It's not about being happy or unhappy. Both conditions presuppose a subject. But the subject is 1) a construct, and 2) not our concern. It is for the mediocre. Our concern is life, and the question is how much life (which includes thought) one can take on. I think, in that respect, that Nietzsche is an example to everybody--not to follow in his footsteps like some prophet or leader, but to try to understand him, and be with him. You bet he suffered more than you and I, probably, and certainly was not rewarded for it. But his ups and downs far outreach those of who strive to be "happy". They want this, but not the other thing. To affirm life, finally, is to accept all. Do you know what that involves?thank you rutger,
Maybe I didn’t express myself too well; and the phrasing “not happy” was indeed not so relevant – the expression “erbarmelijk welbehagen” comes to mind. I had the feeling when reading Nietzsche – that his affirmation of life (I understand it as a reaction against the “geest der zwaarte” of Schopenhauer and other pessimists) seems like a desperate clinging to life typical for those on whom life has turned its back, like a last option for those who are not allowed to live.
“to try to understand him”; that reminds me of Bataille, who claimed he actually was the same person as Nietszsche.
To accept all. Yes, I have tried to understand the concept of “eternal recurrence” and “amor fati”. I am not sure I am there yet.
Maybe I didn’t express myself too well; and the phrasing “not happy” was indeed not so relevant – the expression “erbarmelijk welbehagen” comes to mind. I had the feeling when reading Nietzsche – that his affirmation of life (I understand it as a reaction against the “geest der zwaarte” of Schopenhauer and other pessimists) seems like a desperate clinging to life typical for those on whom life has turned its back, like a last option for those who are not allowed to live.
“to try to understand him”; that reminds me of Bataille, who claimed he actually was the same person as Nietszsche.
To accept all. Yes, I have tried to understand the concept of “eternal recurrence” and “amor fati”. I am not sure I am there yet.
Dries
Well, if you know about all this, then we can leave the scholarly bits behind. I don't think it is a problem that you are "not there yet" with regard to eternal recurrence and amor fati. One can do the latter without fully grasping the former; in fact, eternal recurrence is by its very nature a transcendent thought if ever there was one, i.e., it transcends life and death. Who could ever oversee that? It is also a fantastic thought, and the basics of a new ethics--one that doesn't think of death as the end of it all, or of suffering as something that must be avoided at all cost, but one that celebrates life, and doesn't cry when things don't go in their desired direction. It is not for babies. Surely, that must appeal to you, and if it does, then you are pretty much "there" already.[ Add comment ]
