On Lore Segal – Vivian Gornick in NYRB:

‘Lore Segal was ten years old when the Nazis occupied Vienna, in March 1938. Within weeks her father lost his job, her parents were evicted from their apartment, and her grandparents’ business was confiscated. It was quickly decided that she should be sent out of the country on the newly organized Kindertransport headed for England. They walked across the city, she and her parents, to reach the train station, crossing the Danube Canal on the way. She knew that she was leaving them and that she should be feeling sad or frightened, but halfway across the bridge, she couldn’t help it, she was thinking, “Wow! I’m going to England!” At the station everyone was crying; her parents cried, she did not. “How interesting,” she thought, “that I am not crying.” Years later she said to friends, “In that moment I realized I’d decided to give up grief, and go for interesting.”’

(…)

‘“This feminism,” she said. “Tell me. What is it? What is it that you want? I don’t think I’ve ever understood.” The question startled me—I felt thrown back twenty years—but it seemed so genuinely meant that I began to talk, and as Lore is a superb listener I was soon rehearsing the star moments of second-wave feminism. She stood there on the pavement, staring at me, and then she said in a voice filled with something like wonderment, “You have a passion for equality.” I was so astonished I said, “Don’t you?” “No,” Lore said, “I don’t. I have a passion for many other things—for love, and friendship, for good conversation, for living inside another’s imagination—but not for equality. There are many things I cannot live without before I cannot live without equality.” She peered at me, again with that look of wonder on her face. “But not you. You, I believe, cannot live without it.”’

(…)

‘She is ninety-five years old. Her body is frail, her vision is failing, exhaustion lies ever waiting to trip her up. But her genuinely deep amazement over how curious human beings are has never deserted her; not from the moment she observed herself, ten years old, thinking, “Wow! I’m going to England.” The evenings I spend talking with her are among the very best I ever hope to have.’

Read the article here.

This is a beautiful piece on Lore Segal (I met Lore through Vivian, I was fortunate enough to have at least twice a glass of wine with her). There is a subtle case to be made give up grief and go for interesting, this case is at the core of Segal’s work I would say. And who can separate life from work, which doesn’t imply that all is autobiographical.

In times where grief has become overrated (a human without grief is merely a robot) it’s good to remember that you can give up on grief.