Arnon Grunberg

Cop

Un-American

Last night I did something truly un-American: I went to the movies. I couldn’t force myself to watch the Super Bowl. To be honest, I would rather enlist in the US Army than watch the Super Bowl.
The movie “North Face” (Nordwand) was excellent and afterwards my friend and I went to the Lower East Side to eat some dumplings.
After the Chinese restaurant forced us out we went to a nearby bar.
A bouncer at the door asked for our IDs.
I said to my friend: “I haven’t been ID’d in ages. I don’t have an ID on me.”

The bouncer went to a lady, I guess the owner of the bar. He said: “This guy doesn’t have an ID.”

The lady looked at me. She asked me: “Are you a cop?”

“No,” I said. “To the best of my knowledge I’m not a cop.”

My friend said: “He’s European.”

“Oh, my God,” the lady said. “That’s worse than a cop.”