Arnon Grunberg

Malheur

Utensils

Wednesday morning I gave a lecture about Spinoza at Tilburg University .
Hotel Auberge du Bonheur was recommended to me.
I checked in on Tuesday evening. The room was cold and slightly unpleasant.
When I walked into the breakfast room this morning a waitress asked me: “How can I help you?” “I’d like to have some breakfast,” I answered.
“Oh,” she said. “Well, sit down.” I sat down.
“Not here,” she said. “Go to a table with utensils. There are no utensils on this table as you can see.” I was the only guest and I left within five minutes.
Shortly after this encounter I checked out.
The lady at the front desk said: “That 114 euros. Oh no, you belong to the university, that’s 131 euros and 50 cent.” I wanted to say: “I don’t belong to the university,” but I kept silent.
Auberge du Malheur would have been a better name for this hotel, but not everybody is blessed with a sense of irony.
And I have to admit that I had a good time at Auberge du Malheur, I just missed Manuel a bit.

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