Arnon Grunberg


Casual sexual relationship

Yesterday afternoon I was supposed to be best man at a wedding in New York, but since one best man in New York State is sufficient I was superfluous. We tossed a coin and the other best man won. (In the Netherlands you can have more than one best man.)
After having been to these two weddings in the last two days I’m more convinced than I was before that I’ll stay out of marriage for the next decades to come.
I understand why people get married. There is social pressure -- in certain countries marriage comes with some economical advantages, people might look for an excuse to spend thousands of dollars on a party for family members and other strangers. Yes, I understand all of his.
I do think that if both partners enter the wedding as virgins the ceremony, the party and the night that follows have certain merits, but if there is no virginity involved it is in my opinion a hollow ritual.
Nothing against hollow rituals, I think we need them.
But I as a moderate monk prefer the hollow ritual of taking a shower all by myself, or talking to my shoes in the middle of the night, or looking for an extraterrestrial for a casual sexual relationship. Actually the last hollow ritual is my favorite. Unfortunately in my surroundings the extraterrestrials are extremely silent.