The first paragraphs of Nicholas Kristof’s column in Thursday’s newspaper are truly fantastic, which is not to say that the other paragraphs are not worth reading. The title of the column is a small poem: “A Pope For All Species.”

Here are the first paragraphs:

‘We all know that Pope Francis cares deeply for the marginalized, but did you realize that his compassion bridges the species barrier? He suggests that animals will go to heaven and that the Virgin Mary “grieves for the sufferings” even of mistreated livestock.
“Eternal life will be a shared experience of awe, in which each creature, resplendently transfigured, will take its rightful place,” he has written.
I share his conviction that dogs go to heaven — indeed, heaven would be diminished if there were no dogs. And it’s exhilarating to see a spiritual leader whose empathy goes beyond the widow and orphan to, say, the parrot (Francis once blessed a parrot belonging to a former male stripper).’

Read the complete column here.

A pope for all species is a goodhearted pope, and I’m not even vegan. But I’m not ready to convert to Catholicism yet; I’d like to give Judaism another chance.

Is there any decent rabbi out there who is willing to bless my parrot? Please respond before Chanukah, my parrot is old and sick and so am I.