Arnon Grunberg

Satellite phone


In order to be completely prepared for my coming trip to Paraguay my indispensable assistant rented a satellite phone for me.
Today the phone was delivered.
It looked more like a machine used by fairly sophisticated aliens than a phone.
Shortly after fed-ex had delivered a guy from Outfiter Satellite called me.
“Make sure you test the phone, before you start your trip,” he warned me.
So I installed the software, connected the machine to my computer. But a connection was not made.
The satellite could not find my phone.
I called the company. A friendly male voice whispered: “Where are you?” I answered: “In my apartment.” He replied. “Well, yes you have to go outside.” Then I read in the manual: “WARNING. Never put your body in the front of the antenna or touch the front of the antenna while it is powered up because this is a radiating surface.” There is no doubt anymore. Foreign agents are after me.